Homicide: 22 Unnamed Victims
Last Friday August 13, 2010, I am sad to report, 22 fish lost their lives in our backyard pond from chlorine poisoning when a 47-year old male resident of the household left the water running into the pond. The bodies were discovered at about 2:00 p.m. by a traumatized resident (she will remain anonymous for her own protection), who first noticed something fishy when she saw a river rushing behind her bedroom’s glass doors and up onto the deck.
Upon investigation, she further discovered a lake had formed in the backyard behind the music room. When she sought the source of the (over)abundance of water, she came upon the grisly sight of 22 koi and goldfish belly-up in the lowest of the three ponds, with water spilling over the sides of said pond. She turned the water off and made efforts to revive the fish, but those efforts proved unsuccessful.
Among the casualties were a black “googly” eyed fish and a two fat calico fantail goldfish. Their bodies were removed with a cat litter scoop and respectfully disposed of in a plastic Kroger bag. A brief memorial service was conducted before the fish were solemnly laid to their final rest via deposit into the dumpster.
All household residents expressed shock, horror, and grief.
“Those fish grew up in our pond. They trusted us. They were part of our family. Did you know he killed one of our cats one time, too?” said Michelle Hutchins.
“Huh, what fish?” asked Clark Johnson.
“Can we go to Petco on Saturday and get some more fish? How many can we get? How much can I spend?” queried Samantha Johnson.
“I heard he emptied a black garbage bag of frogs into the bayou. I have to question what that was all about, now” exclaimed Pamela Hutchins. “And there goes this month’s water bill!
Representatives for resident Eric Hutchins advised that he will be invoking his Fifth Amendment right to make no comment.
Authorities say this is an ongoing investigation but would not comment on whether the case of the dead cat has been reopened.
No charges have been filed at this time, but residents are advised to attend closely to their pets in the future, and to exercise caution when leaving them in the care of the adult male of the household.
Be safe, y’all —
p.s. I’m questioning the death of a little red bird at this point…